Letting go ...

As a youngster, after I learned how to swim, I wanted to learn how to dive. I was never a "natural" in the water. I watched friends who stood by the side of the pool and, seemingly effortlessly and gracefully, dived in. I tried and tried but never really got it. My best attempts were "belly flops." Belly flops are painful and dissuade you from trying again. I think I realized at the time that the trick was to let go, not to be so tense, not to cling to the side. But from painful experience I could not trust to letting go. "If you let go, it won't hurt!" I was told. I didn't believe the advice. So I never learned to dive. I never trusted the letting go.
It is part of the foolish ego to think that by clinging, and grasping, and holding on as tight as we can, we can actually control life. It's foolish on two counts. First, it's a silly lie we tell ourselves. Second, it often results in pain. The ancient sages knew better.
For those who want to save their life will lose it ...
— Jesus
Yielding is the way of the Tao.
— Laozi
But how counter intuitive it seems to just let go, to let things take their course, to do nothing, yet in doing nothing to accomplish everything! 
I have been playing with the idea and practice of wu wei ... "doing not doing." 
Practically it means not reacting hastily to life's events and circumstances. It means letting go of control. It means learning the subtle art of "non-attachment." It is the open hand and not the clenched fist. Physically it is lowering the center of gravity from the chest and shoulders to just below the hips. (We tend to store tension in the upper torso. By lowering the center we let go of tension.) It is in the out breath. 
Try this exercise: Next time you feel the need to control, or that things are out of control, or that you begin to feel a tightening in the chest, consciously take a breath, but focus on your out breath. Let it be long. As you focus on the out breath, feel your center sinking lower. Take several more breaths and feel your center settle lower still. You will find relief. Your world will look different.
Or take social media. What a blunt instrument it can be! People write things that they think expresses what they want to say, but the reader often takes it differently, sometimes contrarily. The Facebook comment written in haste receives a rejoinder written equally in haste. Misunderstandings occur. Each writer grasps at words to save their meaning and compounds the problem. Tension rises. Hurt occurs. Trying to save life you lose it.
Try another exercise: Next time you receive an email that you find disagreeable or offensive, don't do anything. Let it go. Let your feelings about it go. Let the content go. Maybe in a few days time respond. You will look at it very differently then.
Or try this. Next time you are in a dispute with a colleague and you think your way is the right way, as she does hers, simply yield. Let go. Don't be attached to your solution. Counterintuitive? Try it and see how much gets done, how much better you feel, and how your relationships improve. Yield to the Tao.
Now if I can only take my own advice next time I'm at a pool ...

 +Ab. Andy