The servants in Downton Abbey lived a life of servitude. And too often we equate servitude with service. Servitude is the awful state of being subject to someone else's will, desires and whims. Servitude is a denial of humanity, a removal of autonomy, and a negation of freedom. The Downton Abbey servants had no choice.
But I want to make a distinction between service and servitude, for service is an essential component of a well-lived life. An utterly self-centered life shrinks and withers—only half a life. A life of un-selfing for the benefit of others blossoms—a full and enriched life. So, here's my understanding of service: meeting another's needs in order to enhance their well-being.
We human animals are pretty needy and we can't meet all those needs ourselves. Our innate sociability means that we need others, without whom we crash and burn. In an exercise, during our weekend retreat, we made a list of those who serve us on a daily basis. The list was long—from post delivery workers to grocery store assistants, to our spouses, to techies, to nurses and dentists, and colleagues and even our animal companions. Our lives are enriched by the service of so many. We drew up a second list of all those whom we serve on a daily basis. Another long list that mirrored the first but included too the many people folk in our community serve —from children to addicts, from veterans to colleagues, from neighbors to sex workers and on and on. The exercise was salutary. We live in a complex matrix of serving and being served. We could not imagine life without such service.
In redeeming service we can reframe it in four interconnected ways. First we can see service as something more than "something that must be reluctantly done." Second, we can enhance service as essential to our well-being—my personal well-being, and our being well together. Third, we can be fully present to one who serves us, making service visible and not taking those who serve for granted. Sadly, for some who serve life does feel like servitude. Economic circumstances make life drudgery—working two jobs just to make the bill payments; working a job but feeling unvalued, taken for granted and unseen. Such is heart-breaking and I'm glad we have those who work in policy-making and are trying to make a more just world. A living minimum wage would be a good start. In the meantime, and always, I shall try to be present to those who serve. Fourth, and finally, those of us who serve in myriad ways can find joy in service. By reframing service as a choice to meet the Other's needs and enhance their well-being, my own service is part of goal of increasing human flourishing. What's not to find joyful in choosing that!
Serve well today,
+Ab. Andy