This weekend a report was published, commissioned by L'Arche International, that credibly discloses that from 1970–2005 Vanier sexual abused at lest six women over multiple years, and that from as early as 1956 he covered, and by all accounts facilitated, similar sexual abuse committed by his mentor and spiritual director Fr. Thomas Phillipe.
I read the lengthy summary report. Apparently, Vanier used his position, power, and spirituality to control and sexually abuse women. It was not pleasant reading.
Hearing of Vanier's fall from grace I was not shocked, nor outraged—post #MeToo and the scores of stories of abuse, my shock and outrage are all used up. But I was profoundly saddened. I am sad for his victims, some of whom have faced years of therapy to try to overcome the harm he caused, yet still live with it. I am sad for the many good people who have dedicated their lives to care for those with intellectual disabilities in L'Arche communities around the world, the reputation of which will not escape some tarnish. I am sad for those who revered and looked to Vanier for spiritual guidance—surely here was a man who made a difference and who modeled the highest religious ideals?—but who now face disillusionment, and I'm sure for some loss of faith.
Vanier is the latest in a long line of exposures of men in power who have used that power to sexually manipulate others—in a phrase: sexual predation.
It seems to me that we humans have not yet learned to live with our sexuality in healthy ways. From myths and cults of virginity, to the stigmatization and animalization of female sexuality, to Victorian public prudery and hidden sexual proclivity, to the sexual revolution of the 1960s that both freed women and empowered men to take openly what had often been forbidden, to #MeToo and the uncovering of the depth and scope of abuse women have suffered and continue to suffer, to the ever expanding porn industry ... we have not done well with our sexuality.
To be sure, human sexuality is powerful and personal. From puberty onward, our sexuality exerts perhaps the strongest pull on our sensibilities. Like other animals we follow the urge to mate, and evolution has ensured that the urge to mate is accompanied by immense pleasure to ensure the future of the species. But unlike the other animals we humans add to that basic urge imagination, culture, and possibilities that remove our sexuality from the mere need to reproduce. At one and the same time human sexuality is everywhere and nowhere. Our sexuality is so personal most of us don't really share what's on the inside. Taboos around sexuality abound, even in our "liberated" age.
We are beginning to learn that men have often taken advantage of their sexual power. When raw sexual power is conjoined with power and influence—in politics, business, sports, and religion—we have a recipe for abuse, victimization and suffering. And that has been uncovered in recent years as never before. The mighty have fallen. The exemplar humbled. The saint tarnished. The patriarchy exposed.
Yet, with the exposure illusions have been shattered. Even the best of exemplars—Vanier is a case in point, with King before him, among the religiously powerful—turn out to be the same. Such is a deeply uncomfortable revelation.
Of course their work endures. The intellectually disabled will continue to be helped by L'Arche, as the Civil Rights movement continued after King. But male privilege and predation has endured through centuries of social, cultural, and political change—the same person in a change of clothes.
After half century of feminism, #MeToo has exposed male sexual privilege as never before. Whether it will result in lasting change, who knows. But the discomfort we currently face as a society is likely a stage we have to go through if we are ever to find balance and reach some kind of maturity in human sexual relations.
This sounds very gloomy, so three things I remind myself:
1. Resist justifications such as "not all men are like that."
2. Become an ally of the victims of sexual abuse.
3. Internalize and spread the word that in sexual matters consent is everything.
+Ab. Andy