It highlights a tension, being fine with who we are and wanting to be better than we have been. Do I accept the lot that nature—and nature's God—has given me? Or do I try to improve on nature? Feed the flowers, pull out the weeds. Can I live with who I am, accepting myself warts and all, yet still work toward self-improvement? Or does the desire to be different negate the self-acceptance? It's a tricky one.
In the philosophy of ancient China the philosophical Daoist said, "Go with the flow of nature. Why try to change what is. You'll only hurt yourself." The Confucian said, "Work on it every day. Follow the rituals. By doing so you will become so much better, so much more humane."
Must we choose one, or are can we sit with the tension of both/and? I'm going to go with the tension and look for the golden mean; find a balance between self-acceptance and self-improvement. You can be comfortable in both, but not so much when either gets out of hand.
The desire to control nature is as old as humanity. Wild and unruly, nature needs be be tamed for a decent life. We carve out our place in the natural world, build our dwellings, plant our crops, fashion our artifacts. Internally, we wrestle with the wilderness of unruly and ignoble thoughts. If we didn't we would be overwhelmed by a Hobbesian war of all against all. Yet, in the desire to tame the less desirable elements of nature we need to learn to live with nature too. King Canute knew how foolish it was in trying to tame the waves. Before nature we need a modicum of humility. The desire to control will likely only hurt the would-be controller. Sometimes you do have to go with the flow of nature.
We have tried to work for balance in our gardens. We desire a nice space to sit and relax, to share with friends, to play with the pugs. To go entirely with the flow of nature would be an unruly mess. So we garden. But we have long since given up on the internalized order of a perfect garden, with not a weed in sight, and immaculate lawns. "Keep off the grass," reads the sign. Lawns are only there for the looking. What a waste of time and effort! So, a large part of our yard we have given over to nature to attract bugs and birds and four-footed creatures. We use no chemicals.We plant annuals for color, but delight too in the beauty and color of the weeds. For us it is a happy balance. We are comfortable in our garden—accepting nature with a smidgen of order.
It was Aristotle who gave us the notion of seeking the golden mean between an excess and a deficiency. But Aristotle knew that sometimes the mean was closer to one pole or another. Balance was not always in the center. With the poles of self-acceptance and self-improvement, I'm going to place the mean closer to self-acceptance. As they say, there's always room for improvement, but for well-being, becoming comfortable in your own skin goes a long way.
Be comfortable with who you are today,
+Ab. Andy