Getting the right balance?

"What, with family responsibilities, and my business at a difficult time, I'm finding it impossible to find balance," said my friend. "I've no time for myself, no time to exercise, and I can't remember the last time I read a good book."
Seemingly, balance is currently the holy grail: everyone is looking for it, and few seem to find it.
Yet, it's by no means clear what people are seeking when they want "balance."
I have often admired those little mounds of stones that someone painstakingly balances one on another. A little feat of balance engineering! But it's not the kind of balance that proves useful in life. That kind of balance is static and fragile.

It's the kind of balance I played around with as a kid when I tried to balance playing cards in a pyramid. The slightest breeze, or knock on the table, would send the carefully balanced cards crashing down. If it's that kind of thing my friend is looking for when he admits "it's impossible to find balance," I think his quest will be long and fruitless. It suggests you can find balance, but heaven forbid that any disruption occurs —your delicately balanced life will come crashing down around you.
The right balance in life must be more robust, more like the balance you achieve when you learn to ride a bike. Once you have learned to balance on two thin wheels, moving at speed, you never forget. The more you ride the better you become at remaining balanced when the terrain changes, when a curve is ahead, or when something unexpected arises to block the way. That kind of balance is not static, not fragile, but rather adaptable to changing circumstances. That kind of balance is a life skill, a life practice. I think it's that kind of life balance my friend is looking for.
But how do you develop that kind of skill? The obvious answer is practice. Yet, life is a more complex business than riding a bike, so what kind of practice?
The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle had some important advice. His goal was to achieve a life of well-being—eudaimonia—which, I think, approximates to what my friend called balance. In every aspect of life, according to Aristotle, we have to avoid both deficiencies and excesses, neither too little of anything nor too much. The right amount would be the Golden Mean. Too little courage and you'd be a coward. Too  much courage and you'd be foolhardy. Too little magnanimity and you'd be a Scrooge. Too much magnanimity and you'd have nothing left to live on, and be unable to fulfill your responsibilities. The trick is to take stock of all the things you do each day and check for the Golden Mean. Not enough sleep? Go to bed an hour earlier. Too much TV? Limit yourself to one episode of your favorite show and don't "binge watch." Hangover today? Clearly too much alcohol last night. Feeling sluggish? Perhaps not enough exercise. Exhausted? Maybe too much exercise! Overly worried about the state of the world? Limit your news intake.
A life "out of balance" might seem impossible to fix, if you look at it as a whole. But the little things, the everyday components, are fixable. The more of of these little things you bring to the Golden Mean the more in balance the whole becomes. When you learn the practice, it becomes  a robust balance that can manage the changes of life. Balance is in the details.
Be well!
+Ab. Andy


Pics credit: https://www.utopiasilver.com/hormonal-balancing-with-iodine/, http://www.craftstylish.com/item/118831/3-fun-diy-playing-card-crafts