The trouble with life generally is that there is no benevolent carer to stop the motion, to end the circling with its frightening changes. It just keeps going. Yet, how humanity has wished there was such a cosmic carer!
Behind life's painful changes and the cry, "Why did God let this happen!" or else "It's not fair!" is a not so hidden belief that there really ought to be a cosmic carer who will always fix things, stop the carousel and makes things right.
In reality, sometimes the carousel slows to manageable speeds, but often does not. In such a dualistic world—a cosmic carer and a carousel spinning too fast—we are left with a cosmic struggle in which one side wins for a while (God is very good), and then the other (the Devil is very bad). Whether the carousel slows or speeds on any given day is a bit of a lottery.
In its more serious versions the problem is called "theodicy"—how do you hold a belief in an all powerful and good god, together with the presence of bad things in the real world. An all powerful being who is good would be able to stop bad things happening. But bad things happen, therefore the cosmic being is either not powerful enough to stop the bad, or watches people suffer and, therefore, is not good in any meaningful sense. Sort that one out if you can! I have read most of the answers. Philosophers and theologians usually end up redefining one of the terms "all powerful," "good," or "evil" to make it work. Perhaps it's better to abandon the attempt and think differently—dare I say abandon the idea of an "external to the world, cosmic carer"?
St. Paul, by all accounts, had a persistent and debilitating physical condition. I can hear him saying in the voice of a New York Jewish friend, "Enough already! Let me get off the carousel!" But the carousel kept turning. In the end St. Paul ceased to look for outward circumstances to change and looked inside. He came to the conclusion "My grace is sufficient for you ... " He found an inner energy to deal with painful outer circumstances. For St. Paul this was the inner experience of divine presence: nurturing, nourishing, clarifying, and comforting—but not a "cosmic fixer" changing the circumstances, not stopping the merry-go-round. St. Paul left behind the "external to the world, cosmic carer" for an inner coping mechanism that made life bearable, and perhaps more than bearable. As Jesus taught, "the Realm of God is within you." Finding the divine within—Christ in you, the Buddah nature, the Dao—is a different story.
How to make the inward turn? I think it would be foolish to offer a one size fits all solution. The Way is found personally, and intensely so. As Zen friends remind us, "Only you can sit on your own cushion."
Three things I have been pondering that I'm finding helpful.
First, coming to terms with my past. When I look back on my youthful and early adult self I see presumption, certainty, arrogance, and a host of other traits that I wish were not there! Over this last week or so, with so many I have celebrated the U.S. Supreme Court decision on marriage equality. For me, this was no great change in thinking. I have been an LGBTQ ally for the last fourteen years or so. For some years before that I was quietly sympathetic. But it was not always so. I recall preaching a sermon in the mid-1980s when I spoke of the "gay plague" when many gay men suffered with AIDS. I said then that such was God's punishment for sin. How I wish I had not held those views or preached that sermon. But I did. I have changed. Coming to terms with the past is to acknowledge where we have been, and to be thankful for growth and change. But not to dwell on it. To acknowledge it, warts and all, and leave it.
Second, becoming adaptable for the future. It seems our world is changing rapidly—in our physical environment, in social and cultural shifts, in personal terms. Futurologists don't see any slow down to the changes. Who knows what's ahead? At the very least we are getting older with all its personal changes and challenges—physically, psychologically and spitritually. These changes seem to speed up. To find the divine within is to become adaptable to whatever turns the future holds. Whether the carousel speeds or slows, the divine within remains.
Third, finding balance right now. In Tradional Chinese Medicine, the two primary elements are fire and water-—complementary opposites. The yang of fire causes the yin of water to dry up. The yin of water puts out the yang of fire. In balance all is well. Too much fire and you dry up. Too much water and there is no heat or light. To find the divine within is to find balance. How to find the balance is for another day. It begins with intention. Today I will be balanced. Perhaps that is sufficient for now.
+Andy
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