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| From: http://tinyurl.com/mguvqoy |
But I suppose life is full of intrusions—unexpected happenings that arise from nowhere, force themselves upon us, gain our attention, and shift us from the course we were set on. Some are large, most are small. This week a good friend lost his father, another lost her job, another is recovering from major heart surgery, another was beaten up by an out of control teenager, another lost her beloved dog to a sudden and mysterious illness—all just in my small circle. Major intrusions in life. And I'm sitting here thinking about a pain in the neck!
Perhaps success in life—a life of wellbeing, thriving in whatever cicrcumstance—is learning how to navigate the intrusions.
Recently we watched again The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (Director John Madden). It's a delightful tale of a group of older folk taking off for India. The young Indian hotel owner and manager, Sonny Kapoor, has a life philosophy he repeats a number of times, "It will all be alright in the end, and if its not alright now, then it isn't the end!" It's his way of dealing with life's intrusions. It mirrors the wisdom of Julian of Norwich, "All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." There is no proof for Sonny's or Julian's assertions. It is an outlook on life, an existential commitment, something to live toward. It sheds a different light on life's intrusions.
In the Dao it says:
The Master doesn't seek fulfillment,
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things.
(15, Stephen Mitchell version)The wisdom of the East is non-attachment. Hold expectations lightly. Let go, move on, be present whatever intrudes.
Three decades ago when I was studying pastoral counseling I was taught that difficult emotions (frustration, anger, fear and the like) often came to the surface when a life goal was threatened or blocked. The simple adage was "blocked goals means troubled feelings." I was taught to help clients to first acknowledge the feeling, and then to search with them for the blocked goal. Was the goal realistic or foolish? Was the goal a sentimental dream? Was the goal a good one, but now unreachable? As a counselor I would try to help the client create new, realistic and reachable goals. Troubled feelings are eased. Life's intrusions are managed.
There is no magic cure for dealing with the unexpected complications of life. But there is help out there, sometimes in unlikely places, if you keep your eyes open.
Now where's my Tiger Balm ...
+Ab. Andy