The three parcels arrived safely and swiftly courtesy of Royal Mail—the last Christmas deliveries before privatization. "It's arrived!" said an excited granddaughter, on the subsequent Skype video chat. "Can I open it now? I can't wait for Christmas!"It's clear to me that she has picked up the Fitz-Gibbon gene known as "impatience before Christmas." I have observed it in most of my progeny. Poor kids! For me the Advent season as a child was a delicious agony of yearning and expectation. It still is, truth be told. But, I wouldn't swap it for a bland flatland. Longing for what we do not yet have is part of the human condition. Advent is the season of yearning.
Even many of my non-theist and non-Christian friends share the anticipation of Christmas. They too put up trees, think of loved ones, buy gifts out of love and affection. The trope is one of better days to come—something that will make all things right, warm homes with loved ones, and good food and drink in the harshness of winter. If we did not have the Christmas season doubtless we would invent something just like it. We need something to look forward to. We need to hope for some bright future.
Yet, it's often true that when Christmas comes it is a let-down. Somehow it never quite fulfills the expectation. Families erupt into arguments and relationships fracture. Social workers tell me that child abuse, violence in the home, and suicides increase at Christmastime. Christmas can be a pressure cooker about to burst it's lid. Too much expectation. Too deeply longing. No fulfillment.
Perhaps, it is about expectation. If you truly expect something to happen, when it doesn't the letdown can be very painful. We react to the painful situation of being letdown in all manner of ways: turning inward in depression, lashing out at the expense of others.
For me, it's important to remember that Christmas is not "that which is to come" but a symbolic reminder of "that which is to come." Christmas is the finger pointing at the moon. Disappointment is guaranteed if we mistake the symbol for the thing symbolized.
For the ancient Greeks and early Christians love is in the yearning and expectation. Love possessed is no longer love. Love is always movement toward, but never fully arriving. The flip side of yearning expectation is patience. What a difficult virtue patience is! You learn it only by practicing it. Like all virtues you build Patience (a character trait) by little acts of patience (habits). The Advent season leading to Christmas provides us a wonderful yearly opportunity to practice.
This is all very well and good, but I still feel tempted to pull gently at the Christmas wrapping paper to see what's in that present under the tree. I can't wait for Christmas!
+Ab. Andy